Yep, that was the first thought that came to my head when I looked at the date and realized it was freaking June already. Wait, let me take that back. June 26 already.
26 days pass the month. 4 more days before the end of the month.
Not even halfway done. Over halfway done. Almost done.
**Insert here, “Where did time go?”**
How did I not even notice the passage of days? What have I been doing with my liiiiifeeeeeee?
**Insert wailing ugly face***
I do not have early on-set dementia right? Or am I in some alternate dimension but instead of it being Groundhog Day, the universe is playing a trick on you by letting time zip by but leaving you with this feeling that somehow, something happened the entire time but you just can’t remember?
Why does this worry me so much you ask? Time shortens when you get older anyway. It happens to everyone where they wake up and it is already the next month. Or not.
Well, because I wanted to start keeping the promises I make to myself on top of the commitments I make to other people. And one of those said promises to myself is about writing regularly.
And the last time I posted something was waaaay over a month ago.
Boom! **Insert face palm emoji**
So in true spirit of my commitment to not wait for a Monday, or end of the year or start of the month or a whole number in the calendar to make a change or to start something, here is a post to help me jog my memory as to what has transpired in the last few weeks.
I had a wake up push — shove — during my annual OB-Gyn appointment. My new female doctor smilingly told me after probing me that I had a cyst in my left ovary. And before I could comprehend the word cyst as I was laying on my back with my legs spread open, she smilingly added that I had a cyst on my left breast too.
Why is she still smiling.
Why is she talking so fast and grinning. Still.
“It is most likely nothing.”
Of course it is nothing.
As I dragged my hand to feel the lump on my hump.
There it is. A baby corn kernel.
I approached this information differently than I normally would.
I didn’t tell anyone save for my great friend. I didn’t want to worry about it because I felt in my gut that there was nothing to freak out about. I didn’t even tell my partner. But then, I was in some weird relationship plane with him.
Fast forward to my tests. Everything came back great.
So now I am wondering if I got suckered in to the vast money generating scheme of the healthcare industry. But that is for another post.
I have also had the wonderful opportunity to celebrate my said great friend’s 34th birthday with our kids doing something I have never done before. It was a new experience that revealed the not so mysterious mystery about children.
That kids are simple and will find happiness, joy and enjoyment with anything. It also showed me that my anxiety over taking them to road trips is unfounded.
I have also been working really hard on my self-development.
I stumbled upon this relationship coach whose ideas about relationships are not new but whose approach speaks to me. I am excited to share it in another post.
And finally I made the move to formally learn Salsa dancing.
In retrospect, a lot of things have happened. Events and situations that have made me grow in small and big ways.
A month is plenty time to learn a new skill, to become a different person, to fall in love, to fall out of love, to discover something about yourself and etc. We take for granted the value that we can get from a day, a week and yes, a month.
And that is one of the things I refuse to let myself do anymore.
On my other posts you might have read the common tone of my desires. That I want to live intentionally. Approach things intentionally. Be intentional.
With my life and other people’s lives.
I don’t want to end the day, month, year and years, not knowing where time has gone.
Time is just a concept anyway. It is actually life that escapes us when hours, days, weeks, months and years go by.
I don’t want life to escape me. I want to capture it through my growth and actions.
In this way, I let life happen FOR me.